The Irony That We Call Life
by Rambling Naiad
Summary: Have you ever thought about how ironic life is? How you can have a childhood best friend that years later you can walk right past and not even acknowledge that they were once your best friend? Not even recogonize them?
1. Ironic

The Irony That We Call Life  
  
~by Naiad ~  
  
Email at: AMatrixVirus@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimers: I do not own Sailor Moon or Gundam Wing. Nor do I own the play the "Good Times Are Killing Me" (by Lynda Barry - go see her play or read the book) where the idea for this story along with many of the words used in chapter 1 and 5 come from. (Chapter 5 is dedicated to this author and the whole beginning part is the words used in the first scene of her play! ^_^)  
  
Author's Note: Much of story is not written in correct-correct grammar because I have written it as if someone is telling this story (in spoken word) rather then in written type. Hope no one out there mines.  
  
*********************************  
  
Have you ever thought about how ironic life is?  
  
How you can not study for a test and be so worried about failing it, only to find out that you are not even having the test today? How you can hate a certain song and when you turn on the radio that is the first song you hear? How it can rain on your wedding day? How when everything seems to be going great, the world collapses around you? How you can have a childhood best friend that years later you can walk right past and not even acknowledge that they were once your best friend. Not even recognize them.  
  
I have.  
  
Chapter One: Standing Still  
  
My name is Usagi Tsukino.  
  
I am the oldest, only daughter of my mom and dad, who happen to both be at work at this time. I am outside right now watching my little brother, Shingo, playing hockey with our neighborhood friends on our street.  
  
Playing on the same old street I have spent my whole life on. The same old apartment filled street, close to the inner-city. The same old street that barely any cars drive on and the parents, of the children who always are playing around on the street, work low paying jobs everyday.  
  
It is summertime right now and all the kids are home all day, with no one watching them except for the occasional few old people that are playing board games outside. Everyone is forced to be outside, because no one on this street has enough money to have air-conditioning and if we staying inside the apartments seem to want to bake us alive.  
  
It was on a day like this, near dusk time, that I first saw my bestest friend, Hiiro.  
  
He pulled up in a black car, with black tinted windows, that made every person on the street stop and stare at the car, since none of us could afford such a nice car.  
  
I first saw his father, who stepped out of the driver's seat. He was a tall man with graying hair. Hiiro walked around the car, to his father, carrying a box filled with junk. He was wearing a blue shirt, which he later claimed was green.  
  
Without even getting a chance to say hello to him, he walked it to my apartment building. As soon as the door shut behind his father, everyone turned away from the new people and all the noise and activity that were happening before they showed up restarted.  
  
~*~  
  
"Usagi, you want to go swimming at the lake with me," my little brother cried out.  
  
"No thanks Shin have fun with your friends."  
  
I waved good-bye to my brother as he and his friends ran off for the beach. It was another uneventful summer day on my street.  
  
All the friends my age had moved away. Their parents said that they wanted their children to start junior high in a better school and neighborhood. They claimed that they had moved onto something bigger and better. Whatever that meant? I mean, our street is pretty nice. Sure at times it can be bad and no one is rich here, but we all watch out for each other. Who cares is your school's books are falling apart and, as my parents always say, that the school is in desperate need for money? It is free after all.  
  
When my friends left at the beginning of the summer, we all promised to write me and call each other. We promised to stay friends forever, even though we would all be far apart.  
  
So far, no one has called me and told me what there new phone number and address is.  
  
So much for promises.  
  
The worse part about all my friends leaving was that I had no one MY age to talk too.  
  
Except, maybe that new boy. He looked about my age.  
  
As soon as that thought popped into my head, the brown tangled hair boy stepped outside. As if, by magic. Not that I believe in that fairytale stuff, but you know, sometimes some things just seem magical.  
  
I jumped up and shouted to him.  
  
"Hey boy, you live in the Kino's old apartment"  
  
The boy stared at me and then started to walk away. I ran after him.  
  
"Hey, you, boy, stop!"  
  
I caught up to him and grabbed his arm with my hand to stop him from walking.  
  
"Hey boy, talk to me."  
  
The boy glared at me. "It is not boy, my name is Odin," he stated in monotone.  
  
"Oh, well, my name is Usagi. You want to play a game or talk or something, because I am pretty bored." I stated matter-of-factly.  
  
"No," the boy stated again in monotone, which wasn't really unusually because everyone in the city had a monotonous accent. He started to walk away from me, when a man, who I knew right away, was his father from a few days ago, stepped out of my apartment complex and shouted.  
  
"Hiiro, where are you going? We have work to do! Get back upstairs."  
  
The boy immediately started walking back towards his father. I looked at him as he passed by and a thought flashed into my head.  
  
"Hey boy, I thought your name is Odin? But your dad just called you Hiiro."  
  
The boy stopped, turned around and started directly in my eyes.  
  
His eyes are eyes I could never forget. Beautiful dark blues eyes that showed so many hidden emotions. Emotionless eyes that just begged to cry. A now perfect reflection of my eyes, only my eyes are a lighter, clearly blue. Back then though my eyes showed all emotions and smiled with happiness. They were innocent eyes back then. How the world has changed.  
  
"Hiiro is my nickname. My mother gave it to me when I was little, before she died."  
  
With that he turned back towards the apartment and jogged towards it.  
  
As he entered the building I felt completely alone, even though so much was going on around me. I swear the birds stopped singing. The radios stopped playing and all the people stopped talking right at that moment. Right at that second that I said,  
  
"Hiiro, is it? Well, Hiiro, I hope that you're ready to have me as your new best friend"  
  
As soon as those words were spoken, (which I am not exactly sure that they were because it is possible that I only thought of them) the world seemed to start moving again.  
  
That was the second time the world stopped just for one boy. One boy that will always be my bestest friend, even though I haven't seen him in years. 


	2. TV

Chapter 2: TV Dreams  
  
Have you ever wondered what the point of TV was?  
  
When I was younger my family could only afford this small little box that barely ever worked and if it did, the loudest sound was static.  
  
I remember just walking down a few blocks and over two, just to get to my friend Ami's house. She had a newest TV out of my group of friends and it worked the best too. I remember just being there, sitting in front of her televisions and watched everything that was happening on it and dreaming that I could grow up to be just like the stars in those shows.  
  
But really, what is the point of television?  
  
I mean, basically, you are just watching a bad version of reality.  
  
Instead of watching TV, why not actually live reality?  
  
~*~  
  
It was raining on the day that I first got to truly talk to Hiiro.  
  
My parents hadn't come home yet and Shingo was driving me crazy watching him running back and forward, and back and forward, in our apartment. I got so sick of it that I picked him up and placed in front of the TV.  
  
I pressed the on button for our little TV and for one split second where heard sounds and voices coming from it. Just Before it made that weird sound and went blank. Wouldn't you know it? Our TV, as usually, was busted again.  
  
I was ready to cry when I saw Shingo getting bored of starting at a blank screen and decided to start running around again. My head had thoughts running through it that were along the lines off, 'Didn't Dad promise to get us a new one this summer? Just like he promised last summer to get a new one? And the year before that?' Except, we never had enough extra money to buy a new one and it seemed that my family would be stock forever with a fossil box we called our TV.  
  
Crash.  
  
The sound of something falling was heard in the apartment below us and then I remembered Hiiro. Maybe he had a TV, or at least something for Shingo to be entertained with.  
  
I grabbed my little brother's arm and practically dragged him down the stairs.  
  
"Let go of me Usagi, there is an evil monster in our house that I need to fight now"  
  
Oh, what an imagination that runt had. He always had something going on in his head that involved tons of action and adventure.  
  
"Oh well, Shin. You'll just have to wait until later to fight the monster bad guy" I told him with an indifferent but sweet voice, begging in my head that he would be happy and forget about the fake monster upstairs.  
  
"Okay sis, but later you will have to help me defeat the monster." I was ready to scream but of course...  
  
...By that time I had already knock on the door that used to belong to my friend Minako, but now was Hiiro's door.  
  
The door was answered by an annoyed-looking Hiiro.  
  
"Hi Hiiro, I was wondering if I could play with you. Along with my little brother too!" Before he could answer I had already pushed opened the door and entered. But he tried to squeeze in a word anyways.  
  
"BUT ME and my dad are trying to clean up a mess." He trailed off at the end, realizing that I didn't care.  
  
"I don't care. Do you Shingo?"  
  
"No... look at that thing!" Shingo pointed at a giant, cardboard box leaning against the wall still filled with things, before he ran off towards it.  
  
"No Shingo! Don't!"  
  
Bang. Boom. Crash. Crunch.  
  
Okay, so at about that moment I realized coming down here maybe was a bad idea. The sad part was that Hiiro didn't even have a television, only the bare necessities of a house, plus a laptop.  
  
The day spent in their though was a blast! Hiiro and I started off silent but by the end we were talking like we had always known each other (or at least I was, Hiiro preferred to stay silent but then again, he had his own way of talking). I learned how to use a computer and what exactly the internet was, since I had only seen and heard about such things on TV and in the few movies I saw. Shingo didn't break too many things and Hiiro's Dad made us some yummy dinner and hopefully didn't have to pick up too many messes caused by my stupid little brother.  
  
~*~  
  
After that day, every rainy day during that summer was spent at his apartment.  
  
Even now when I am stuck inside during the summer because of rain, I think of Hiiro and wish that I could be snuggled up under a blanket in his apartment, watching him type away on his laptop, telling me that one day he would be in the FBI or CIA or something fancy like that...  
  
...something fancy like those secret agents that they show on TV. 


	3. Games

When you think about your childhood and playing games with your friends, what is the first image that comes to your head?  
  
For me, it is playing one of those games where you say a rhyme and you hands clap along with it. I remember standing outside, on the street, waiting for it to become dark outside and saying those rhymes over and over again with my friends Makoto and Minako. Both Minako and Makoto lived on the same street as me, so we were always outside playing.  
  
My friend Rei lived a few blocks up, at the only Japanese shrine in our city with her grandfather. (In fact, the whole reason why my grandmothers and grandfathers probably lived in this neighborhood was because of the Hino shrine. I wonder if my grandparents knew Rei's grandfather.) Rei could rarely ever join us because she lived father away.  
  
Ami lived the farthest and she never came to my street because of the great distance she lived and her mother would never drive her over (her mother would only pick us up and take her to her house). She lived down in the neighborhood that had all those big, fancy one-family houses and announced back in first grade that she wanted to be the smartest person alive, so she was always studying and doing her homework perfectly. Ami had so little free time.  
  
So it was just me and Makoto and Minako playing outside on my street ever night, until they moved and I was all alone.  
  
~*~  
  
The sun was just starting to set. Colors of orange and purple and red and blue were filling the sky. All the groups of kids on my streets were playing games. Some were clapping their hands to a rhyme. Others were playing hockey or shooting hoops. Younger kids were playing little versions of tag, drawing on sidewalk with brightly colored chalk, or playing hopscotch.  
  
I would have joined them...  
  
But each of them seemed to be in such perfectly formulated, always-been- that-way groups and I didn't want to barge in and ruin their fun.  
  
It was time like these that memories of my once-upon-a-dream best friends came to mind.  
  
~*~  
  
Ami was the first to leave, back before 6th grade started.  
  
It was back then that we first made the promise to always be friends, no matter how far anyone moved. Of course, back then I never imagined anyone else would leave.  
  
The beginning of 6th grade was hard without our brainiack friend Ami. It was at the beginning that we all missed her the most and were all disappointed that she didn't write us. But time moved on and soon, sadly, it seemed that she had just never been there. Like she was just someone we had imagined.  
  
Then Rei moved at the end of the first quarter of 6th grade. We were all shocked by the news that her grandfather wanted to send her to boarding school so she could be educated to become a better priestess. When she left; Minako, Makoto, and me at first started going to the shrine to see how she was doing, but her grandfather always seemed to be too busy to talk to us and so we grew tired of walking over their once a week to hear how our friend was doing and never getting a reply.  
  
I did try to check up on her when ever my family went to the shrine for some relaxation and meditation, but Rei's grandfather would always pretend that I wasn't talking to him and tell my father that he needed to give more money to the shrine to keep it up. After awhile, when my family was there, I began to notice that he would only talk to the richer Japanese families at the Shrine, rather then us. I guess he only liked me back when I was Rei's friend.  
  
Before I knew it, back before sophomore year at high school, the Hino shrine up and left the neighborhood and went to a new neighborhood in the suburbs that had richer Japanese people living there. A giant Cineplex, with the most theatres I had ever seen, was built where the shrine use to be.  
  
Then, just before spring, Minako left. She was the most gorgeous of us and was a very talented actress, even though she was so young. She had been in tons of commercials and once made a 2-show appearance on some hit TV show. Her mother told us that she had saved up enough money from all those TV appearances to move away, to a better neighborhood, where Minako could get a better education and maybe become a model or even a real actress.  
  
Minako leaving was the most tearful. Minako was a lover for dramatics and started crying and soon I followed her, and then Makoto. I swear, we must have cried for an hour before her father came and dragged her in to their station wagon. Me and Makoto of course chased after her, when their car pulled away, but our feet were not fast enough to keep up and soon she was gone.  
  
A few months back. I heard that Minako was a model on some famous runway and was soon going to star in some movie.  
  
I felt nothing for her when I heard that bit of gossip.  
  
The last to leave, on the first day of summer break, was my best friend Makoto. Her leaving was the hardest. We had been friends since... since forever. We meet when were little babies, crawling outside our same apartment building. We never ever left each others side until the day she left.  
  
There were no hugs or kisses or tears when she left, only a pain-full ache in our hearts. For weeks during that summer, I would lay in my bed and think of her and just start crying. I would cry a painful, lonely, pure heartache cry into the darkness of my room. That was before I realized that she was never going to write me a letter or call, just like the rest of my so-called-friends and I decided she wasn't worth crying over. None of them were worth crying over. So I did just that, I stopped crying.  
  
It is a good thing Hiiro moved in though, because without him, I probably wouldn't have lasted the summer all alone.  
  
~*~  
  
The streetlamps would come on and the street would become completely dark.  
  
Children would run into their apartments at this time and wait for their parents to come home. Shingo would go in to one of his friend's apartments, where he continued to play his games until Dad would call later and tell him to come home.  
  
It was on an average end of the day like this that I was sitting on my stairs, that lead into the apartment building, waiting for my parents to come home, when he came outside.  
  
He sat down beside me ,on the step, and we sat there for a few seconds before I finally acknowledged him.  
  
"Hi Hiiro"  
  
"Hn........."  
  
We continued to sit there, not speaking yet feeling as if we were telling each others a thousand things. It felt like time was standing still, again, and all we were in was a soundless world that stared in to darkness.  
  
I later found out that a friend is a person you can stay in complete silence with for up to 20 minutes. I wonder if that is how long we waited into my mom finally walked down the street towards me.  
  
"Hi Mom! How was work? What for dinner?" "Goodness Usagi, be patient! I am going upstairs right now to start dinner. Way don't you wait down here for your father?"  
  
"Kay"  
  
I sat joyfully back down, happy that my empty stomach would soon be filled. I knew that at any moment Dad would be driving home in our 10 years old, rusty, small car and we would be having dinner.  
  
When he did arrive I said good-bye to Hiiro and followed my Dad up the stairs to my home.  
  
~*~  
  
It wasn't until later that night that I realized I never asked Hiiro why he was outside waiting. Later on in the summer, about the middle of July, I did.  
  
"My dad came home later from work then I expected that night. He got caught in some... traffic, yeah traffic."  
  
~*~  
  
I didn't know until that one horrible day, in mid-August, that Hiiro's father was a trained assassin and that he was the cause of the deaths of all the power-filled leaders of our cities that everyone had heard about on the radio. I didn't know that on that one day that Hiiro and I waited outside together, that Hiiro's father was running all around town trying to get the cops of his trail and not be caught.  
  
I wonder if Hiiro ever played any childhood games.  
  
His favorite game most have been hide-and-go-seek tag.  
****  
  
~Author's Note~  
  
I am sorry that this chapter was just about Usagi's past and all her friends leaving. I hope it wasn't too boring for you and that the little part at the end with Hiiro and Usagi made you happy. Well my play is over with and I am feeling alittle sick right now, plus I have tons of homework but I feel like I should write something to everyone that has reviewed me so far (considering that this is the most reviews that I have ever gotten - so thanks everyone)  
  
Warning: Please don't read if you don't want some mini-spoilers or are just happy with how the story is going so far. Basically, I am just answering ppl's questions as best as I can and not giving anything away but I hate it when an author sorta gives away the next chapter or the future of the story in their notes so I just want to warn ppl like me. Thanks/  
  
Koori - thanks for being my first reviewer!!! =)  
  
azure_chan- thanks for reviewing also!  
  
¤°°º°º°°¤|çé ß|úé Éyé§¤°°º°º°°¤ - I think it is really cool how you formatted your name. =) Thanks for telling me that my new story is one of the few that are good at the moment. To answer your question about whether or not this is a Hiiro/Usagi fic, I would love to say yes but for the sake of the story, at the moment, I am forced to say no. I am emailing you a paragraph on why this story isn't. And if anyone else reading this story dreadful needs to know why they aren't together just tell me and I will email you the paragraph too. But just remember, this is an uncompleted story and you should just enjoy were it is at, at the moment. (God, life would be a lot easier if this was a completed story.)  
  
Water Angel - I am sorry that my chapters are not that long but, well, I normally only write for about 20-40 minutes on each chapter. That is the most I can give on writing them because I normally have homework to do (some ppl are amazed by how much homework my teachers give). I also only write as much as my imagination and inspiration has given me for that day (which I guess isn't a lot). So I am sorry that my chapters are short but hopefully they don't lack in quality (which is what counts, right?)  
  
Jupiter Angel - Wow! Lots of questions to answer. I will also be emailing you the paragraph that I am sending ice blue eyes to answer your first question. I am not exactly sure what Usagi wants to be when she grows-up because I haven't actually thought about it. Maybe I will say what she wants to be later on in the story (*wonders*). I am also unsure if Usagi will become Sailor Moon in this story (haven't thought about it much but trying to think of ways. Plus Usagi isn't 14 or older in this story and I try to stick as close as possible to the real data on the story). I don't know about Hiiro either but if I get really far into the story, I would have to say yes - especially since I have some idea how it ends. Hope your headache has gone away. =)  
  
Lacking motivation - thanks for the two reviews!!!  
  
Key - thank you also for the two reviews. People coming back and continuing to read my story really means a lot to me. Thanks a lot!!!  
  
Feel free to continuing reviewing and questioning my story. I would really appreciate some insightful, deep feedback but even the basic - "I love it' 'keep it up' really raises my spirits and has made me dance around my house a few times. =) 


	4. Space

~Author's Note~ Well, I have decided to make my author's note at the beginning of the story that way the end will be dramatic ^_^  
  
Ummm. it is kinda depressing but I realized that my next chapter is sorta the turning point /middle of the story and well. the rest of it goes downhill to the end after that. So sad =(  
  
Anyways on to my comments to you, my readers who leave me reviews and comments (hehe). You guys make me feel very special. [pic] (I now have 2 pages on my review page-thingy. Kewlio!)  
  
"lacking motivation" - I like when I've been mentioned too... hehe...  
  
"Wizard" - thanks for loving my story  
  
"azure-chan" - thanks for writing the longest, most cutiest review! Also thanks for opening up your mind about the story, it means a lot to me! ^-^  
  
"ice blue eyes" - lol! I didn't even know they made G.I.Joe movies - unlucky you. And I hope you got the email by now.  
  
"Goddess of Darkness"- thanks for reviewing another one of my stories (-she reviewed the little story that I am trying to revise now because it is so confusing and weird-)  
  
"Tenshi-Chikyuu"- =) I don't think I am that great but thanks anyways for your comment. Plus I believe that the most important thing about a story (besides it's theme) is that it is filled with emotions and that the audience is able to connect with the characters and feel these emotions. That is why must of my works have tons of emotions, especially my poems and this one original story that I started on (which are all sadly now on fictionpress.com). Infact, I thought this story lacked in emotion and I was beginning to wonder if my works were better with less emotion. Your comment made me change my thoughts and realize that this story really does have a lot of emotions. Thanks!  
  
"key"- for Hiiro not being the assassin but rather his father in this story comes from *drum roll please* GW episode zero - where Odin Lowe (Hiiro's semi father figure) is also an assassin. Yep. I am not that original. Hehe.  
  
Now on to the story... yay!  
  
***************** ****************** *******************  
  
Have you ever wished that you could live up in space?  
  
The space colonies must be a wonderful places to live. I wish I could live up in those colonies. I wonder... Did people even go out into space before the colonies? Or is dreaming of living and being in outerspace a new thing? No, it can't be a new thing or else, how did they get the colonies up there? Someone must have dreamed even before me about living in space.  
  
I wonder how long people have been dreaming about going up into space and living there. It must have been a really, really, really long time.  
  
*~*  
  
It was an incredibly hot day when I decided I wanted to go swimming.  
  
Well, it was more like Shingo decided he WANTED to go swimming and convinced me to come with.  
  
He put on his adorable swim trunks that my mom had gotten from the Clarence section. They had little trains on them, which looked completely different from trains I saw on the elevated train tracks in our city. The ones that my mom always went on to get to work. I put on my way new pink bathing suit, that mom and me went all around the city looking for near the beginning of the summer.  
  
Now that I think about it, mom probably took me shopping that day to get my mind off of Makoto being gone. But even if that was the reason, getting a new bathing suit was better then wearing that really old one that I had, with all those stains on it.  
  
Shingo and I put on other street clothes, since it was a 20 minute walk to the lakefront and started to head out.  
  
Most of the walk there was actually running, since Shingo was so excited and couldn't stand the slow pace that I was going at.  
  
I then would have to run after him because, as mom always told me, "Who fault would it be if something were to happen to him?"  
  
It, of course, would be my fault if something did because it would mean that I wasn't watching him close enough. So I always had to be watching him, even though I never saw any reason why I had to. Nothing would happen to him.  
  
~*~  
  
God the lake was beautiful. It was always beautiful. Even in the middle of winter, when it was frozen solid, it was beautiful.  
  
Thousands of people had to be on the beach. Some swimming, others watching their kids swim. Some sun tanning, others were playing volleyball. Even more were just jogging or rollerblading by. Tons of people.  
  
In this giant crowd, Shingo and me found a little place to set our stuff down. I placed mom's huge beach bag down and took out our huge beach towels. We then took off our street clothes and raced towards the water.  
  
In our young age, we never worried about people stealing our stuff like our parents always worried. Who would want to steal our stuff anyways? Besides, they never did. Never once did anyone ever steal any of our stuff while I was growing up. Maybe that is why that early day of August was such a shock to me, I mean, why would anyone want to steal anything? Much more a child?  
  
Shingo and me, along with other kids swimming around, played the usual games.  
  
Marco polo.  
  
Water tag.  
  
Aqua Racing.  
  
After about an hour and a half, I grew tired and left my brother in the water.  
  
Much to my surprise, there was Hiiro and his father setting up their beach stuff.  
  
"Hey Hiiro! Hiiro's dad! What's up?"  
  
"Our apartment is way to hot! Hasn't anyone ever heard of air-conditioning here?" Hiiro's dad grumbled to himself.  
  
Me and Hiiro didn't even bother answering him, much less listening to him and turned our eyes towards the water.  
  
"Lets go in, Hii. The water is really nice and as long as we don't go past the lifeguard's boat, we can do whatever and have tons of fun."  
  
"Sure..."  
  
"Race ya."  
  
~*~  
  
I won that race, and all the other races I tried to make Hiiro join me in back then. He never was one for games I suppose. Even in the water, he never joined in with the other kids. Instead he swam around, practicing things he called a breast stroke and a back stroke and a... butterfly was it?  
  
Boring.  
  
Soon I grew tired of the water again and went back towards my beach towel. I sat down on it and decided to sun tan, a thing Minako loved to do.  
  
Even more boring.  
  
I then was about to call Shingo and head back home but Hiiro came up beside me. He sat down and we both stared of into the sky. The sun was high above us and there was not a cloud in sight.  
  
"I have never seen a lake before. It reminds me of the ocean though, except there are no salt and less fishes in a lake. An ocean is bigger too. Way bigger. And the waves can be really rough and uncontrollable," Hiiro stated this in a voice that seemed to be in another world. Maybe he was thinking about his past or a place he use to love seeing.  
  
"Hmmm... I have never seen the ocean before. Only this beautiful lake."  
  
"You should sometime."  
  
"Hiiro, where did you live before you came here?"  
  
"Many places. I once lived in a place that had never heard of a lake or even an ocean before. Once I even lived somewhere that had to create fake rain and snow because there was no such thing as real water there."  
  
"You mean one of those space colonies?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What are they like? I only see a picture of them twice, when I was at school. And also when someone on the street points them out to me in the dark. But they just look like stars... big stunning stars." My face was glancing up to the sky, hoping to see one of those famous space colonies. Even though I knew it was impossible because the colonies were too small to be clearly seen from Earth. Plus it was daylight. I was just a stupid, silly girl wishing to see the impossible.  
  
"They aren't that beautiful, or at least the inside of them aren't. They are over crowded and filled with poor people. The governments, the people of Earth, not even the rich people who live on the colonies, take good care of the them.. That is why so many people on the colonies always want to break away from the Earth, kill of the rich living there and start their own government..."  
  
I just sat there, listening to him ramble on about something I didn't understand. He looked so serious. It must have been a subject that he had many strong beliefs about. If only I understood what he was talking about. But of course, I didn't want to look stupid so naturally, I pretended that I did.  
  
"...Understand what I am saying Usagi?"  
  
"Of course, everyone knows that." I just waved his question, and drowned out all the other useless information he continued to tell me.  
  
~*~  
  
God, was this the most boringest thing anyone had ever told me. It was even more boring then those lectures that teachers gave at school. I was just about to either fall asleep or scream at the top of my lungs...  
  
Luckily, Shingo come to my rescue.  
  
"Hey sis, I am tired. Can we go home? Pleassssseeee." He made his cute little face that he always made when he was begging and whining for something. His lips made the little pout and his eyes got big and glosses. How could I say no? Much less, how could Hiiro not get mad at me for leaving and not listening to the rest of what he had to say?  
  
So I grabbed all of our beach towels and put back on my street clothes and gave Hiiro a wave good-bye and then ran passed Hiiro's father shouting bye as we jogged by. I must have done all that in less then half a minutes.  
  
~*~  
  
I didn't realize it till half way home from the beach that I never did actually learn where Hiiro had lived.  
  
I just shrugged it off. Assuming that when he said many places, he meant everywhere and everyplace.  
  
I wonder what it is like to have live everywhere?  
  
Space most be the bestest place to live though.  
  
You know, he never really answered my question about what the colonies are like either. He only told me what the government and society thought about the colonies. Nothing useful for a daydreamer like me.  
  
If only I could visit space someday. I wish...  
  
... I wish even now that I could live up in space...  
  
...on one of those stunning stars... 


	5. Music

Hi everybody! Sorry for not updating this story for so long. I wrote this chapter awhile back but it was so bad that it made me depressed and I just couldn't write anything anymore. Grr. I am still extremely disappointed with this chapter and have taken so much pointless stuff out of it and there is still more pointless stuff in it. This never would have happened if I hadn't tried to write a longer chapter. Anyways, this is basically a chapter dedicated to "The Good Times are Killing Me" ummm. this chapter is basically a mindless amount of nothing and I really hate it but I need to post it to continue on with the story. Sorry for the delay and I hope you find this chapter alittle better then I do.  
  
******************  
  
Chapter Five -Music  
  
Did you ever wonder what is music? Who invented it and what for and all that? And why hearing a certain song can make a whole time rise up and stick in your brain?  
  
Chapter Five -Music  
  
My favorite song was always playing that summer. You know, it is odd but now that I haven't heard it in such a long while, I have forgotten the name of that song and even how the beat and lyrics went. All I know is that it was my favorite song during that summer.  
  
It was everyone's favorite song back then and the radio was playing it all the time - on the good days and. the bad.  
  
It's the song I HATE now. And whenever the radio creeps that song into its play list and it begin to play, I recognize it immediately and all the memories of that summer collide into my head and two tears fall from my eyes. Two tears for two people I lost during two horrible days during that summer.  
  
And even though I hate it and even though it makes me cry, there are still good times that go along with that song. Good times from back when things where normal and happy and I didn't even realize it.  
  
~*~  
  
There was a lot of music on my street. The best time to hear it was at nighttime, when the people would come out after dinner onto their sidewalks or porch, turn their radios up and just listen and sing along with the tunes.  
  
Many times I would just go outside after dinner and just sit there, watching the other families listen to the radios. The parents would always be sitting on a lawn chair or even a rocking chair, rocking back and forth as they sang along with their favorite tunes. The kids would always be sitting on the steps, watching their parents and talking to each other. Sometimes even the kids would be inspired by the music to get up and do their childish clumsy little unsure dances along with the songs. It was so cute to watch them.  
  
On certain nights my family would come outside and sit with me. Shingo would sit right next to me on the steps, and even on a few cases fell asleep in my lap while my family listened to the radio. My mother would sing along with all the songs she grew up listening too. Her voice was so beautiful. At one time, before she married my father, she was a singer on some stage but dad made her stop when they got married, something about not wanting to cause attraction.  
  
My father would just sit there on his chair with his eyes half-closed listening to the radio. Even once Hiiro joined us and sat down next to me and Shingo. He just listened along with the rest of my family as we stared out in to the street-lamp filled street and gazed up into the darkness of the sky.  
  
The world seemed just perfect when I sat out there listening. Everyone seemed so happy and no one cared about the future or even the next day. The light summer breeze would always swoosh by, giving everyone some relief from the hot summer nights. And the moon always shining so brightly and sometimes, on very clear nights, when the pollution wasn't so bad, a few shining stars could be seen in the dark sky. I loved those nights the most. I loved seeing the stars and moon and the dark sky. I would find myself on those nights, just wishing that life would never change. That I could just stay on those steps forever in those perfect nights.  
  
Eventually though my father would get up and my mother would tell me and Shingo that it was time to go to sleep. We would leave the perfect setting and climb into our beds, worrying about the future and what the next day had in store for us. Yet knowing, that no matter how hard the next day was, the next night we could always go back outside and listen to our radios.  
  
But even that wasn't true.  
  
One day, I along with my now sadden family, just stopped going out at nighttime. Listening to the radio at nighttime just gave us too much free time to think. Too many memories to make made us cry and too many things to make us worry. Those perfect moments where no longer perfect. Instead they were tainted with the memories of once being perfect.  
  
~*~  
  
Some afternoons, when there was nothing better to do on my street I would grab my father's radio and take it outside with me. I would go to the farther end of the street so I could be alone and tune the radio into my favorite station. I would sit their listening and waiting for the songs I liked. When they did I would just allow myself to be absorbed into the music and forget about the rest of the world. The radio would then, after a long time of waiting, play my favorite song. I would jump up from my seat on the sidewalk and start dancing around. My body would only allow itself to feel the music. Then the lyrics would start and I would start singing along with that beautiful sounding woman who sang my favorite song. I would completely drown out the rest of the world and it would just be me and my song.  
  
My eyes would stay open but all I could imagine, all I could see was the crowd watching me singing the song, encouraging me to sing more and more. I would do just as they demanded and continue to sing my favorite sang, completely forgetting that I was listening to my radio and dancing outside with probably not a single person watching me.  
  
I loved imagining that I was a famous singer that everyone admired and wanted to be. The little child that was still in me, and always will be, wanted to grow up to be a rich singer.  
  
And then the song would fade off the radio and my imagination of being a singer ended.  
  
And there was Hiiro, his normally straight face was showing a small smile and his normally expressionless eyes portrayed for just one second the reflection of laughter.  
  
I would never be a famous singer.  
  
In fact, it turns out I am a lousy singer. One of the worst you will ever meet.  
  
Why do you think I hide at the end of the street when I sang with the radio?  
  
I wanted to make sure no one else could hear me and laugh at me.  
  
I guess hiding at the end of the street, behind a tree next to an apartment building was not enough. Hiiro found me there and I saw his laughing eyes and though I never told him how much it hurt me to see him laugh at my singing, I think he knew.  
  
He knew because from that day on, I stopped singing along with the radio except when I was locked in my room and was completely positive no one was around. And even then, I sang really softly.  
  
Well, to be truthfully, I did start singing in public again at the beginning of freshman year of high school. By then, I didn't care how bad I sang or what anyone thought, as long as I was having fun.  
  
Of course, Hiiro never knew I started singing again and he probably never will.  
  
I wonder if he was ever even mad at himself for catching me singing and making me stop.  
  
Probably not because no one realizes when they hurt a growing child's heart and the child never expresses the that pain, until years later when they realize they need to get over it and move on with their life. Until years later a person with a hurt heart will start talking about that pain and even then the pain doesn't go away.  
  
~*~  
  
Pain, a growing child's life is filled with more pain then a parent wishes to believe and remember. Everything that has gone wrong will pain a child. Even the small things can leave great damage. Even the big things that a child may not even understand the meaning of at the time can come back years later and haunt the child when they are all grown-up.  
  
I know that I am probably making to big thing out of the painful issue of me stopping singing because of one boy laughing at my voice. I know I am. But it still hurts that he did. The pain just wouldn't go away. And the fact that this pain came from singing my favorite song was probably the first reason I started hating it.  
  
Yet, even though, it was the first reason that I started hating it. I still loved that song at the time. It wasn't till I was a teenager that I realized how much pain that song brought me over just the issue of Hiiro laughing.  
  
But even though this song pains me over the laughter and two other more sorrowful reasons, there was one day it gave me a great memory.  
  
~*~  
  
It was an afternoon before Hiiro caught me singing that I had brought my family radio outside. Shingo and his friends wanted to listen to it.  
  
We sat their listening and listening and listening and listening and then finally my favorite song came on. Shingo jumped up and asked me if I wanted to dance; he knew I loved the song.  
  
He put his two feet on mine and I showed him the waltz Dad taught me. We twirled around as his foot dug deeper and deeper into mines. Boy did it hurt. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore that I let go of him. Unluckily, we were twirling to fast. And he fall backwards and I fall forwards.  
  
We both landed on our butts and I being, the crybaby I was, broke into tears, while Shingo being as young as he was followed.  
  
We looked at each others stained filled faces and then, for no reason at all besides the others funny looking faces, broke into laughter.  
  
The laughter must have lasted five minutes with the whole time everyone on our street just staring at us.  
  
It was a moment I can never forget. The laughter was so happy, so innocent, and so perfect. And the moment never would have happened with out that song.  
  
Of course the moment afterwards with Hiiro coming out because of all the laughter and picking both me and Shingo up and then caring us into the apartment building looking at us as if we were crazy and then causing my brother and I to laugh even more because of his weird, unusually look is also thanks to that song.  
  
~*~ It truly is amazing how much one song can affect you. How it can bring back so many memories. How it can be both a good and bad song. How it can just. be.  
  
************* The last part has absolutely nothing to do with the story. In fact most of this chapter doesn't. grrr. I am sorry for it being so bad. Just think of it as a person telling a story getting caught up in one part of it and telling little side stories and what they felt about it, because a) they just can't tell stories and get caught up with other things or b) they are trying to slide around the bigger picture and not continue on to parts they don't want to talk about yet. This chapter is a mix of both of them. Plus I found some of it fun to write because it became a vent. Once again, sorry for not updating in sooo long. Sorry. 


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